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Random-jokes-not-worth-their-own-thread
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MongSpirit
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 6:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

An elderly Pole is sitting in his home one evening, when his last lightbulb burns out. It's far too late to buy a new one, since all the shops are closed. So he heads up to his attic and starts rummaging around for an oil lamp he remembers having stashed away for just such an occasion.
Finding the lamp, the old man sees that it is quite worn and dusty, and so begins to wipe it clean with his sleeve. Suddenly, out billows a cloud of smoke and, in the middle, a magical genie.

"Well done," the genie says. "You have set me free from my prison. Now I may grant you three wishes."

"Hmm, allright," the old Pole replies. He thinks for a bit, then says:
"For my first wish, I wish that the mighty Chinggis Khan was resurrected. I want him to unite all his Mongol hordes and then march to the Polish border. Then I want him to decide that he doesn't want to invade, and head back home."

"Done!" The genie says. "Your second wish?"

"For my second wish, I want the mighty Chinggis Khan to be resurrected. I want him to unite all his Mongol hordes and march to the Polish border. Then I want him to decide that he doesn't want to invade, and head back home."

"Um, ok..." the genie obeys, slightly confused. "And your third wish?"

"I want the mighty Chinggis Khan to be resurrected, unite all his Mongol hordes, and-"

"Allright, allright!" the genie shouts. "Seriously, what's the deal wanting Chinggis Khan to march to Poland and then go home again?"

The old Pole smiles, and replies: "He gets to pass through Russia six times."
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Roland
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 3:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

MongSpirit wrote:
"He gets to pass through Russia six times."

LOL! Laughing
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sparticus
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Roland wrote:
MongSpirit wrote:
"He gets to pass through Russia six times."

LOL! Laughing


Sorry - I'm a bit slow sometimes - just read the joke - Nice Smile
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Mr. Blue
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2012 2:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, yes if you get the joke 5 1/2 months after it was posted I suppose that could be considered a bit slow. Smile

But yeah, its a good one.
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sparticus
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2012 5:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mr. Blue wrote:
Well, yes if you get the joke 5 1/2 months after it was posted I suppose that could be considered a bit slow. Smile

But yeah, its a good one.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31nJdcOTg9g
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Big Dog Barque
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 4:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Instead of a joke, here's an "of-the-wall" poem. Shocked
Sorry if you hate poetry... Sad

My father done told me a long time ago,
"Son, save your money and climb out of the hole."
He gave me a dime and with a big smile,
I put it on my dresser, to save for awhile.
Inflation has taught me with the years I've spent,
the dime I saved was only worth five cents!

Laughing

Sorry if I did'nt (at least) get you to smile (maybe even snicker) with it. Hope I can come up with something better... Wink
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sparticus
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My 7 yr old Nephew last week told me a Pirate Joke.

" Why are Pirates called Pirates " .. ?

" They just Arrrrrrrrhhhh !!! "

Smile
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ExtraCrispy
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2014 1:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"You French fight for money, while we British fight for honour."
"Sir, a man fights for what he lacks the most."
- R. Surcouf
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sparticus
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 11:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ExtraCrispy wrote:
"You French fight for money, while we British fight for honour."
"Sir, a man fights for what he lacks the most."
- R. Surcouf


Shocked but nice
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Rusty Edge
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm on a fishing trip with the in-laws. 4 adjacent cabins overlooking the lake.
First thing I hear this morning while still in bed.

Niece #1- "Can I go fishing in your boat today?"
Wife- "Why didn't you fish with B as usual?"
N1 - He's not going today. His boat has a leak in it."
Wife- Sure.
N2- How do you know the boat has a leak?
N1- UH, because it's like filling up with water...
Me Laughing

after lunch

ME- N2, how do you know the boat has a leak?
N2- Because it fills up with water?
Me- No, because it smells like onion. That's what you should have said
Smile
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Mr. Blue
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 4:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The onion joke made me want to cry. But if Rusty Edge hasn't told a joke here for a while, it could be that his edge is a bit rusty. Razz

Well, it was pretty good actually. Laughing
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Rusty Edge
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 5:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mr. Blue wrote:
The onion joke made me want to cry. But if Rusty Edge hasn't told a joke here for a while, it could be that his edge is a bit rusty. Razz

Well, it was pretty good actually. Laughing


This made me laugh out loud. So the wife wants to know what is so funny.
I read the hole thing to her. She groans at puns. I laughed some more.
Arr!
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