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KingWilly
Rigger
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 Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 11:28 pm Post subject: Army joke |
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The Air Force found they had too many officers and NCOs and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old Master Sergeant who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied "from the tip of my manhood to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider explaining about the nice cheques the previous two officers had received but the old Sarge insisted and they decided to go along with him provided the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Sergeant to "drop 'em", which he did.
The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Sergeants penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Sergeant smugly replied... "Vietnam."
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Westley_Roberts
Iron Guts
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| Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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Nice one, made me chuckle!!
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Vulture
Gunner
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| Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 3:42 am Post subject: |
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Well, his check ought to be in the neighborhood of bill gates' net value. Thats Billions with a capital B!!! Old sarge has got it going on. 
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rupertlittlebear
Helmsman
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| Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 4:20 am Post subject: Re: Army joke |
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| KingWilly wrote: | The Air Force found they had too many officers and NCOs and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.
. . .
The old Sergeant smugly replied... "Vietnam." |
Only works if Vietnam is in his body.
Nice story, but would not pass a review board. |
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headrock
Rigger
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| Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:51 am Post subject: Re: Army joke |
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| rupertlittlebear wrote: |
Nice story, but would not pass a review board. |
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Blondebeard: "Madre de Dios! Es el Pollo Diablo!!"
<Spanish Guitar Riff>
Guybrush: "Si! He dejado en libertad los prisioneros, y ahora vengo por TE!"
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headrock
Rigger
Posts: 1567
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| Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:51 am Post subject: Re: Army joke |
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| rupertlittlebear wrote: |
Nice story, but would not pass a review board. |
_________________
Blondebeard: "Madre de Dios! Es el Pollo Diablo!!"
<Spanish Guitar Riff>
Guybrush: "Si! He dejado en libertad los prisioneros, y ahora vengo por TE!"
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Grimmelshausen
Cutthroat
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| Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 11:00 am Post subject: |
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There are such things as joke review boards? Why am I not really surprised? |
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rupertlittlebear
Helmsman
Posts: 4545
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| Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 7:56 pm Post subject: |
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To make matters worse, the Army is no longer offering early retirement bonuses.
In fact it is now offering Mandatory Late Re-Enlistment Orders! |
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