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Cutiepie Jones the Pirate King
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captainkidd78
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 1:59 pm    Post subject: Cutiepie Jones the Pirate King Reply with quote

Cutiepie Jones was the name he was forsaken with. Along with his daily prayers, Cutiepie damned his mother for the name she had branded him with. He tried to shorten it and make it sound more masculine, but it was to no avail. He tried Chucky and Clyde, Cain and Charlemagne; still people called him by his birth name.

Cutiepie was born in the Year of Our Lord 1614 in the port of Exeter in southwestern England. He had one brother, Delightful Jones. Ironically, Delightful Jones took his own life after years of abuse from fellow sailors.

Cutiepie had visions of sailing since a young man growing up in Exeter. He hung around in bars in London, picking up stories and diseases, whilst increasing his contacts for his impending journeys. He graduated from his sailing school second-to-last in his class. The only student worse student in the class was his dead brother for failing to attend!

While talking to an old, crusty sailor in a Wapping bar- Cutiepie was persuaded to join up for a voyage to the West. Cutiepie did not go on his own accord, but was hit upon the head with a bottle of mead and carried aboard a ship on route to the island of Bermuda.

Cutiepie had many flaws of character, but the most powerful fault was his anger. He awoke and ran upon the deck. He screamed at the captain, whose name was Bernard Monroe, who promptly drew his sword.

"Arrr! Cutiepie Jones I presume? I hope you have a strong will and strong knees! Ha ha arrr!"

"My God! I am not inclined to those purposes, although I do respect your lifestyle." This politically correct statement caught many of the sailors present by surprise. The crew broke out in immense laughter. Captain Monroe did not find it funny, as he grew quite red as he pulled out his trademark weapon, the crescent halberd.

Cutiepie had to battle it out with this hardy pirate, who had horrible intentions with Cutiepie's body. A fellow crewmember with one green and one blue eye said, "Here Mister Jones!" and tossed over a beautiful, steel cutlass. The duel began, Cutiepie held his own but was soon overpowered and without much strength left. Just as the Captain began laughing and unbuttoning his pants the crew grabbed him by his arms and flung him into the sea. They did not just toss him, but whirled him around and around and propelled him 30 feet into the high seas.

When Cutiepie came to his senses he was perplexed, as usual. It seems the crew got rather despondent with the old captain. Instead of robbing ships for gold and goods to sell, the captain would attack monastery ships and immigrant ships trying to find some booty of his own.

Cutiepie was given a hat which looked a bit too small, with a feather that was much too long. As they sailed past Bermuda, the sense of adventure that loomed ahead near Nassau Island, grew stronger with every gust of the oncoming storm...
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Chuko
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 2:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm, interesting story, cant wait to hear more...
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cook Barry White: "WHERE THE HELL ARE WE!?! We are running low on food!"

Captain Cutiepie Jones: "It looks as if we went of course here by only 8 or 9 degrees. It should be no problem, don't you think Gabriel?"

Cook Barry White: "8 or 9 degrees is a HUGE deal!! We are off course by dozens of miles!"

First Mate Gabriel Pires: "I am (looking at a nervous Captain Jones)...very sorry. I must have fallen asleep."

Navigator John Thomas: "According to the land formations on the horizon, we must be around Eleuthera."

Second Mate Anderson Kellie: "John, it is nighttime!!! You cannot see anything!! That is not Eleuthera on the map, that is a piece of snot!"

Navigator John Thomas: "Aye, perhaps I should cut back on some of that rum."

First Mate Gabriel Pires and Second Mate Anderson Kellie together: "That sounds like a very grand idea!"

Navigator John Thomas: "So, how are we going to get to land?"

(Everyone is annoyed at this point. Cutiepie Jones has his hands on his head and rocking back and forth - half-sobbing/half-laughing. He suddenly stands up.)

Captain Cutiepie Jones: "I've got it!!!"

...To be continued
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captainkidd78
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 3:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Article by Edward Teach
Posted in the Nassau Island Herald - April 1634

At first it looked like a speck of light, but as the night wore on it became obvious that it was much more than that. At around 3:00 in the morning, 4 sloops of the royal navy went out to investigate the light in the distance. I was on board one of those sloops investigating this very story.

The Captain of the ship, who goes by the name of Chucky Jones was picked up by the Royal Navy, along with several of his crew. Many of the crew had minor injuries and burns. After further investigation, the captain used an alias when identifying himself. He is known by the Crown as Cutiepie Jones of Exeter, England.

As it were, it seems to all concerned that the ship was set ablaze by accident or on purpose. Although most of the crew swear that they were attacked by a giant fire-breathing kraken, many of the crew also say that it was only the navigator, John Thomas. Mr. Thomas was found drunk, floating in a life-boat with a squid costume.

Later that evening, Mr. Thomas confessed to starting the fire. "I had a wee bit too much to drink, and had a wee bit too much to smoke. A sharp wind blew my pipe out of my hands and onto a barrel of gunpowder. I am just thankful that we got out of it alive."

Cutiepie and his crew have been staying free-of-charge at the Beach Hut Lodge and Pub. Come on by, the fish-and-chips are amazing!
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captainkidd78
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Beach Hut Lodge Pub

Despite not having a ship, the crew was happy. Cutiepie and his band were celebrating their first semi-successful voyage with mead and rum and loose women. Cutiepie was outside at the moment practicing his sword play with his silver cutlass. He was the victor, winning 5 and losing 1 match against a barrel of salted pork. How he lost that single fight is up to some serious debate to this day in Nassau.

"How about a nice glass of honey mead Captain?", asked First Mate Gabriel Pires. Pires was a mysterious sailor with one blue and one green eye who was born in Marseilles, France. Gabriel was on a ship at the age of 10 and never looked back. He was around 40 years of age and sailed with many great men, including Sir Francis Drake. The stories that Gabriel told were held very closely to Jones's heart.

"Why do you sail with me Gabriel? Considering all of your experience and knowledge, you should be sailing with a more famous lot," the captain wondered aloud.

"Tis only once a lifetime that a captain of your ilk chooses to take up the sail. You are loved by your men, and thus greatness is easy upon you," answered Pires.

"I am concerned Gabriel. We have no ship and no money. How are we going to get anything done?," asked the captain.

Pires responded, "Do not worry Captain Jones, something will come up. For now let us drink up and perhaps tomorrow we can ask the governer for help."


THE NEXT DAY - May 1 1634

The crew, sans Captain Jones, wait outside a wall of brick, looking very confused.

"How come they brick this path up? Every British colony capital is the same, but this one is not open, it is just BRICK," stated the Navigator John Thomas.

Second Mate Anderson Kellie attempts to scale the brick wall, without much success. The men then plant gunpowder charges against the wall, but it seems to do nothing. They walk away in disgust.

While the crew were attempting to contact a governer, Cutiepie was getting lucky with a woman with some Welsh pedigree. He barely understood a word she said, but found that very exciting anyway. When she woke up, he would be somewhere else, but for that moment he was truly in love. He whispered as he left, "Goodbye Mrs. Morgan."

Cutiepie was late for his meeting with the loan officer. He was running down Front Street, thinking about his 25% interest rate, when all of a sudden an epiphany hit him. He slowed down his pace and rather than continue toward the Lodge, he made a quick left and tumbled over the sea wall...


"Ahoy!," screamed Cutiepie Jones toward the Beach Hut Lodge. His men assembled outside the pub, all with looks of surprise on their faces. Not one mouth was closed, but Pires who let forth a deep chuckle. 100 yards away, Captain Cutiepie Jones was standing in ripped clothes on board a new SLOOP! The men let out a roar and began running and stumbling towards their new ship. Also running toward the new boat were two royal sloops, Exeter and Cambridge.

"Hurry men!," cried Cutiepie as he loaded and lit 4 cannons to hold off the enemy. One cannon did not fire and Cutiepie put his head in front of the barrel to check for any problems. Right before the cannon let go a solid shot, Pires grabbed Cutiepie by the coat and pulled him back. As he pulled him back, Cutiepie hit the cannon just a bit and moved it's aim by a few degrees. The shot's aim was true and it passed through a man on deck, went into a damaged board on the deck and landed in the center of the ammunition room. A fireworks display lit up the sky and it was so bright that the cook began making eggs for breakfast. Cutiepie blew up his hometowns sloop. All that remained of the exeter were 7 pieces of wood and a bit of human teeth. The smoke caused by this explosion gave the crew enough time to set sail and head away from the town and the Royal Navy.

The legend of Cutiepie Jones has begun...
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captainkidd78
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I am getting so damn hungry! What good are you!," scream Anderson Kellie.

"How can I create a meal, when I have no food to cook with! Perhaps we could cook you!," countered the Cook Barry White.

"Enough, enough! We do not have food and we do not have water and we do not have money. We must take what we need," suggested First Mate Gabriel Pires.

"Ahoy! I spot me a sail in the distance!," shouted the Navigator John Thomas.

"Why aren't you steering the ship or plotting courses and the like?," asked Second Mate Anderson Kellie.

"Why aren't you mating?," an awkward John Thomas asked.

"What colours does the ship fly?." Captain Jones asked.

"They look white," replied John Thomas.

"IDIOT!!! Let us throw HIM in a pot!," bellowed Kellie.

"I believe it is a French ship. Perhaps they have some food we can trade for?," asked Pires.

After a slight pause, Jones cries, "Let us find out! Full sail, steer a course to cut off that ship!"

There was no fight, the merchantman had no guns and was manned by only 30 men. The Captain and his men made their way into the keep, where they found a very notable prisoner. This is how the exchange went.

Jones: My God! It is so wonderful to finally meet you, Captain Blood.
Blood: That is not my name. It is Harris. Captain William Harris. Why must everyone make names for people.
Jones: I know what you mean. How rude, I forgot to even introduce myself. My name is...
Blood: I don't give a Sh#te what your F$#king name is or why you call me daddy. Okay kid, I am sorry I spent so much quality time with your mother. It was your dad's idea.
Jones: My God! How rude! No matter, I will free you at once but first...
Pires: Sir, we do not have room to take all 30 men and all of the stores on the ship. What should we do with the prisoners?
Jones: (blowing off Pires with his hand)
Pires: Yes sir.
Jones: As I was saying Captain Blood or Harris...
(Screaming of prisoners being thrown into the water)
Jones: What the hell is going on! What was that?
Blood: (looking slightly scared) Please don't hurt me.
Jones: Of course I won't hurt you. You are one of my heroes!
Blood: (confused) Thank..you...sir.
Captain Blood runs full speed and throws himself into the water. He gets aboard a lifeboat and begins paddling away.
Pires: That man is a true loon!
Jones: By the way, Gabriel, what was all that screaming about?
Pires: You signaled for me to throw the prisoners into the water.
Jones: I did not!!!
Pires: You waved their lives away like garbage.
Jones: What!!!
Pires: Just pretend it didn't happen.
Jones: (tilts head back and starts screaming in frustration)

After Jones calmed down, the men counted up the look. They found 30 units of silk, 30 units of sugar, 10 barrels of rum, 50 days of food, and 8500 pieces of gold!

For a crew of only 24 now, that seemed like a lot of money. It was just beginning...
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captainkidd78
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The voyage took a very long time, but it was worth it. As Cutiepie Jones and the crew of the Delightful pulled into Port Royal, the fun had begun. The total prizes of their booty, after sale was roughly 12000 pieces of gold. Cutiepie kept 1000 out of the total for a retirement fund for long-standing crew members, and the other 1000 was used to purchase more melee weapons and cannon. Cutiepie kept 1000 pieces of gold, making the new total 9000. Then the First and Second Mates took in 500 pieces of gold each, making the total 8000. Every other member of the crew took in 262 pieces of gold each. This does not seem much money, but for a sailor it would do for a very good time in Port Royal.

Concerned about his men's safety, Cutiepie took out 250 pieces of gold from his own loot to put toward medicine for curing any itches and hangovers the crew may find in Port Royal. The city was a bastion of vice to the religious, but considered a great time by other less religious types. The British had control over the town, but at best it was very loose control. Warships rarely ventured into port and the governer was more interested in keeping the Crown at bay, while he reaped his own rewards illegally.

The crew found the Three Tunns Tavern and found themselves drinking to the merriment of their travel and success. Overhearing the men cheering, 50 men instantly volunteered for the next voyage of the "Delightful." By the end of the night, most of the men had spent between 50 and 150 pieces of gold on booze and companionship. Port Royal could be a lot of fun, but that fun was very expensive.

While the crew were singing and drinking at the tavern, Cutiepie Jones was walking along the docks and through the main corridor, known as Lime Street. As he came atop a hill he turned around to view the vast sea below him. Though he was an average sailor at best, he loved the sea with all of his heart. His father never taught him how to sail, and he had only learned as a lad by watching the sailors do their art in port. He practiced hard, but in reality, would most likely be capable of command, swordplay, and navigation like men of Francis Drake or Captain Blood..er..Harris's ilk.

As Captain Jones turned around he lost his footing and tumbled through some brush and down a slightly sloping hill. He finally stopped when he hit the side of a brick wall. Jones yelped a bit from the impact, and was attempting to regain his composure when suddenly a woman appeared. She had long, flowing raven hair. Eyes as blue as the sea and a skin so clean and soft that it stood out from all others in Port Royal, Jamaica. Jones fumbled with words, and finally just gave up and sighed. He then walked away quickly to lessen some of his shame.

"Wait, you seem to have dropped this," said the beautiful woman.

"It probably is not very important, you may keep it. Thank you," replied Cutiepie very awkwardly.

"It is a compass and perhaps you may need this, for you are obviously a sailor," countered the woman.

"Oh yes. I guess I will need that. I will now approach you to retrieve my article," said Jones.

Again it hit Jones. He was completely paralyzed by the beauty of the woman and stood there for half-a-minute in an awkward silence.

"Here you are. Would you like to have some tea perhaps? My father is still awake and he is always up to meeting new people," asked the woman.

"I would be honored to have some. Tea that is!" announced Sugerpie. "Who is your father?"

"The Ambassador to Port Royal, Sir Winthrop Locke," stated the woman. "Sir, sir!"

Captain Sugarpie Jones had fainted.

When he awoke, again he saw the beautiful woman and smiled. He got up, brushed himself off and continued walking with her.

As they rounded the corner, four men jumped out with their swords drawn. "Give us your money!," shouted one of the rogues.

"I will take care of this my lady, please stand back," commanded the good Captain Jones.

As the men approached, Jones winked at one of the men and flashed him a glimpse of a coin. The man turned around and killed the other three men in an instant. Sugarpie tossed him the coin, and 10 others. He asked the man his name. "My name is Slug. I am a bit slow in da head, but me swings a mean blade."

"Indeed good man, please report to my ship, the Delightful tomorrow morning," asked Jones.

"That was very smart and brave," the beautiful woman said.

"I am a fool darling, what is your name," finally asked Jones.

"My name is Isabelle."

Later that night.

After long conversations about politics and money, the Ambassador took Jones aside. "Captain Jones, I believe a man of your substance could benefit the nation of England and the town of Port Royal very much so. I am going to write to the Governer of St. Kitts, who will be very interested in meeting with you for a Marque."

Jones replied at once, "Dear Ambassador, I have not met another person quite like your daughter. I have always loved the sea, but one look from your daughter has completely taken me into a storm of love and passion."

The Ambassador began growing slightly angry.

"Ambassador, whatever I must do to gain your daughter's hand, I will do. Please let me try," asked Cutiepie.

"Well, Captain Jones," began Locke. "First, you must dance with my daughter and prove your skill in the ballroom. Second you will most likely have to duel her intended suitor, Admiral Banbridge."

"I accept your offers and will began at once. Music, Geoffrey!," Jones commanded the musical leader, who was slightly irritated by Jones's brusque manners.

Isabelle and Cuteypie danced to the beat and both of their hearts were in flutters. Love was in the air when all of a sudden, Geoffrey began playing the music faster. Cutiepie, who was not a dancer, began making mistakes and ended up falling into the rum punch.

The room erupted in laughter as Cuteypie, red in the face, got up and bowed pathetically to the massed nobles and gentry.

Admiral Banbridge, who was watching very closely, smirked at Jones and stood next to his bride-to-be Isabelle. Cuteypie, feeling very horrible, broke out of the room and ran faster than any man has ever done. Isabelle, disgusted by her father's little plan to scare Jones away, ran off to the balcony and only saw dust clouds where her love had just before found her...
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captainkidd78
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When the crew stumbled onto the ship they found Jones in tatters. He was up all night, crying and cursing and drinking. All of the men heard the story and many of them were actually moved by it. Finally Jones fell asleep and dreamed many sweet dreams about Isabelle.

When Captain Jones awoke he found himself in bed, but not in his bed. "Where am I?," shouted Jones.

It seems that while Jones slept, his men went out to the outlaying docks and "traded" the English Royal Yacht for piece of salted pork. Jones was dumbfounded. They were 10 miles south of Port Royal in a large brig. It had crew quarters for 150 men and 24 cannon on deck.

The crew sold the Ambassadors yacht to pirates in exchange for this warship. What gall! Jones was very worried at first, but his worry would double in a moment.

As Jones reached the deck, he felt dizzy and completely baffled. In a chair, with hands tied, sat Isabelle. "How dare you capture me in this manner!," yelled Isabelle. "To think I did actually care for you, you pull a stunt like this!."

"I swear that it was not my doing. I am innocent of this. Tell her Gabriel," commanded Jones.

"Aye! It was the least we could do!," replied First Mate Pires.

Behind them, in the distance 2 Ships of the Line were creeping upon them, gaining speed with the wind at their backs.

"Oh my God!," cried out Jones. "We are dead! We must release Isabelle! I can not put her in danger! Do it NOW!"

They put Isabelle into the life boat and began lowering, but not before she grabbed Jones by the collar and planted a quaint, yet powerful kiss upon his lips.

Jones fainted right away.

When he awoke, the men were frantic in preparation for battle. "What is going on now?," asked Jones. "Where is Isabelle? Where are the ships?"

"Isabelle is safe Captain," replied Pires, "but I must say we are in the sh@te with the Royal Navy. The one ship picked up Isabelle and returned her to Port Royal, but the other ship is still with us."

"What is her armament?," asked Jones

"It has around 50 guns. I do believe it is twice our firepower," replied Second Mate Anderson Kellie.

Jones turned very white at that statement. "It is inevitable. We must fight. Prepare all guns for fire, and let us get one good broadside in. Transfer 3/4 of our cannon to the port side. After we get one off, close for boarding."

"Men, get to battle stations!!!," shouted Pires. "Guns port 3/4. Hard port."

The ship felt as if it would capsize, but it held. The British Navy Ship of the Line was not used to being attacked. Especially by a ship half it's size. As the Navy ship began it's own port turn, a large salvo exploded off of the Delightful. The main mast was hit and fell into the forward section of sail. A perfect strike was made by the Delightful which had every chance to run.

As the Delightful began closing in on the Indomitable, another salvo came in from the east. Three frigates were coming to dispatch the Royal Navy from the area. The ships flew French flags. The ships had two missions. First, remove the Royal Navy from this immediate region. Second, capture or kill the pirate Cutiepie Jones. The salvo hit both ships, wounding men on both. The Delightful and the Indomitable were now within grappling distance, but both captains knew that their was only one way out of this situation.

Both ships were point to point with 50 guns pointed at the incoming frigates. On a joint order, by Admiral Banbridge, the two ships fired 3 straight salvos at the French ships. Three salvos destroyed two of the frigates, which were stationary and helpless in the sea. The third frigate continued onward and hit Jones's ship with a salvo that took out the main sails, leaving Jones stagnant in the water.

In the distance another set of sails appeared. It had come in behind the frigates and suddenly exploded out of nowhere to incapacitate the remaining frigate. Now Jones and his crew were staring directly at the broadside of the Indomitable, 30 guns pointed at Cutiepie's heart. A tremendous clap of noise exploded as fire and cannon shot pured into the Delightful. The ship was taking on water, which was mixing with the blood of his crew. Of the 74 members who began this small voyage, only 30 were still alive after that first salvo. As Jones looked up, through bloodstained eyes, he saw Admiral Banbridge smiling. Jones had never even thought of revenge, until that moment. As the grappling hooks began hitting the deck, another broadside came in, this time hitting the Indomitable. Grappling hooks began pouring onto the Navy ship. It was Captain Blood or Harris!!!

The Navy ship was the battlefield as sailors of the crown fought off pirates and scoundrels. The battle was in full fury as Captain Jones made his way towards the Admiral. The Admiral began speaking, "So, you fool, you do not know when to quit. You are nothing, you are.."

Without responding, Captain Jones swung his sword through the neck of the Admiral, instantly decapitating him.

When the battle was over, only 22 crew members were alive. The only ship that could sail was the Pirate Blood ship.

"I saved a present for ye," began Blood, "for all the help you gave me with freedom."

Jones looked before him and saw his dream ship. A frigate, with 34 guns and red sails being unfurled. Captain Jones was now on the list found in every tavern in the Indies...


"
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Chuko
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice little story you have going here, keep it up!
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captainkidd78
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 5:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The crew sailed to the northeast, looking for a port of call that would be safe. By the time they reached Tortuga, off the coast of Hispaniola, their stores were nearly empty. Tortuga is one of the only safe havens for 'disputed' persons. It is an island with a decent port and decent rum. After docking in port, the crew ran full steam into the local tavern, The Blind Turtle. Captain Jones walked into the tavern and was welcomed by free drinks and load applause. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that HE, and not one of his seafaring idols, would ever be this loved by these noble creatures. As Cutiepie sat down to have a drink, a voluptuous blonde jumped upon his lap. She had a look in her eyes that meant only one thing.

"Hello my dear, would you like a glass of fine mead?," asked the polite Captain Jones.
"No Mr. Jones, but I would not mind a fine glass of rum," replied Betty Leroux.
Jones found this woman very exciting and drunk. His crew looked baffled as Cutiepie picked up Ms. Leroux and brought her up to his room at the inn. Just yesterday he was still fixated on his lost love of Port Royal. Now he seemed to be in some kind of love with Betty Leroux.
"I cannot believe he has fallen in love with 'Bouncing Brothel Betty'," began First Mate Pires.
"Perhaps he is just looking for someone to talk to," replied the Navigator John Thomas.
The last comment drew very long looks from the surrounding crew. Betty is not someone that a sailor spoke to about tender things. She was easy and fun and not someone you bring home to mom.

Later that evening, Second Mate Anderson Kellie was found dead behind the tavern. He was robbed of his money and was cut in eighteen places. After a prayer and burial, the men would embark on their next adventure. The enlistment of men to crew the frigate began with ease. Men showed up in the hundreds, and Captain Jones had to decide who would sail with them. One very shady man came aboard the ship. He was around 40 years of age, had one eye, one leg, and one hand. He proved himself an excellent navigator and sailor, and was thus made the new gunnery chief. His name was Bain Tarhook. The crew found him very disturbing, especially because he chose not to hide his injured right eye under a patch. He walked about with a festering wound on his head that made many a man sick to his stomach.

As the ship headed out with 225 persons aboard, a screaming woman was heard running along the dock. The woman was Betty Leroux, who was screaming out her love for Cutiepie Jones.
"I love you my darling. Please do not leave, I am with child. I love you Captain Chucky!!!," screamed Betty.
Jones whispered to Pires, "Please, get us out of here. It hurts too much to see her anymore."
Pires glared sideways at Jones and chuckled. "You are indeed becoming a true pirate king!," said Pires, "Full Sail!!!"

Captain Jones spent most of their long voyage practicing his sword play. He won a fierce battle seven matches to one against a barrel of vinegar. How he lost that one match is up to much debate. Captain Jones was a happy man, but still it was obvious that the hurt he felt for losing Isabelle was still apparent. He would subconsciously carve her name into the ship. By the time the poop deck was covered in her name and little hearts, it became worrisome to the crew. "My lord, you must forget about the lass. There are many fish in the sea. And kraken too!!," shouted the ridiculous John Thomas. But Jones could not forget about her, if she were a fish she would be a pretty one, if there were any good-looking fish that is.

Ahead of them, while sailing north of Curacao, they sited four pinnaces. The pinnaces showed aggressiveness only attributed to pirates. The men, with their superior numbers decided that battle would be good for the crew. When the pinnaces were in cannon range, Bain Tarhook sent 6 blasts of cannon toward them. All of the ships exploded and sank, getting many of the men upset. Tarhook displayed no emotion, he just called the men cowards who knew not what true treasure was.

As they never offended the Dutch Government, the Delightful found port in Curacao where they sold off some of their finer goods. Curacao was a wonderful settlement, located in a great location if you did no t care much for the Spanish Empire. It was a clean city, with officials and soldiers everywhere. Pirates were not very evident in the streets, for the government did not tolerate their horrible behavior. The ship would spend some time here, preparing it for another journey. Captain Jones did not share with his crew his great plans. But one of the crew already knew what it was...

Bain Tarhook: Captain Jones, I know what ye looks for in thar future of this boat.
Jones: Oh. What would that be Bain?
Bain: You wish to go to Panama. You seek many riches there.
Jones: No, not riches. I am looking for a loan from the Spanish in order to cultivate and sell Sugar Cane Juice!
Bain: (puzzled look)
Jones: Why the strange look Mr. Tarhook. (Jones begins staring at Bain's eye/wound)
Bain: Arrr! You have a powerful ship, a rowdy crew! What do you need them for if you are but looking for a loan!
Jones: If you do not wish to sail with us, then leave this ship.
Bain: (under his breath) I have meself a much better idea...
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 5:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two months later...

Captain Jones and his crew found themselves on a beach in New Spain. The assembled men counted as 4. It was Jones, Pires, Thomas, and the cook and they were lost. They decided on a direction to go and they decided 'That way.' Two weeks later they were in a jungle/mosquito hell. The cook tried to keep them all happy with meals consisting of bugs and small rodents. They found help in local residents of the area. A tribe brought them into town and fed them and clothed them in very colorful clothes. They all married local women and Pires and Thomas decided to have children. Captain Jones married the chief's daughter and wanted to be intimate with her, but could not get into the mood. He was not thinking of Isabelle, rather he felt embarrassed with the girl's father in the room the entire time.

Finally the men had enough of the land-life. They decided that in the night they would sneak out of the village and risk the woods again. They made it out of the village and made a camp after a few days of travel. Captain Cutiepie Jones looked at the night sky and prayed for his salvation. He needed to find his love again and get a loan for his Sugar Cane product. Out of nowhere a star flew from the sky and landed about 3 miles away. After jumping around for a minute or two, Jones woke up the men and they began their run for freedom of land. They reached a burnt out spot in the woods and looked around. There was no village here, only a strange looking creature with a big head, big eyes, no nose, and long fingers. The creature glowed faintly as they approached. John Thomas began, "Sir, we need to find a town or city. Do you know of any around here?" All of a sudden, the being waved his hand and a beam of light picked up Thomas and brought him into the sky.
"What the devil did you do to him!," screamed a scared Captain Jones. The being just stood there without making any sign or sound. Thomas re-appeared and began walking very funny. The crew asked him what happened. "They violated me!," cried Thomas who began weeping. "My God! Prepare yourself for battle," stated Jones very bravely. The being then spoke up in Jones's voice, "Villa Hermosa is 5 miles that way, or you can take a trip with us wherever you wish, if you let us do more tests on your sailor."

After thinking about it for a full ten minutes, the crew sans Thomas decided to get the transport in exchange for Thomas's 'booty.' When the men were back on land, they were in a familiar place. The sign read, 'Welcome to Port Royal.'
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captainkidd78
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As the soon as the men saw the sign, they all had very different emotions. The cook, Barry White was happy to see Port Royal. He hated the jungle and could not wait to see some REAL food. John Thomas was happy to see Port Royal, but for reasons of a medical quality. He would find a good ointment. Pires was scared to be in Port Royal. Despite being away for so long, they were still wanted by the English. Port Royal was not really under any real control at the moment, due to the War between the Spanish and English. Bounty hunter's still existed in Port Royal, and would be happy to put some money in their own banks.

Captain Jones was happy to be in Port Royal, for he could finally find Isabelle. When he reached the mansion on the hill, he found it guarded by Spanish soldiers. He attempted to figure out the language in the past, and he now attempted to ask the guard about Isabelle. He could not get through to the guard, and ended up letting him know by drawing a picture in the dirt displaying his story thus far. The guard was baffled by all of it, but managed to understand Jones's lost love and his search. He stated that he believes that the Ambassador and his daughter went to the island of Martinique.

Jones walked away and began kicking pebbles down the street. "How am I going to get to Martinique?" he asked out loud to the empty street.

"You can get to Martinique easily," replied a strange voice. "By taking me aboard as a crew member."

Jones turned around and saw Captain Blood. "My God! What are you doing here and why are you without your own vessel?"

"Alas, my crew threw me off the ship and I have finally returned to Port Royal," replied Blood.

"I would be honored to cruise with you Captain Blood!," stated the good Captain Jones.

The men got back together and proceeded to the dock where they found Blood's ship.

"What is it?," asked Pires. All of the men, aside from Blood were staring at the smallest boat that they have seen in a long time. It was not much longer than a lifeboat, with a small sail and a small pivot cannon on the bow. It smelled of bunker and was visibly rotting away.

"It is my baby, and she sails like a champion," answered an enthusiastic Blood.

The men carefully got into the boat and set sail for Martinique. As they began passing the French controlled island of Guadalupe, they were greeted by a galleon flying pirate colors. Captain Blood stood up, climbed on board and turned around to Jones.

"Captain, for you to reach Martinique, you must do me a favor," began Blood. "You must take this charge of gunpowder and set it off on the ship in the harbor of Guadalupe. Believe me, you will know what ship it is. Also, you will do it alone, for if you perish, you have good men around you who would be helpful on my own ship. If you live and complete this task, I shall give you a ship and some men to crew her. On top of all of this, you will also receive my gratitude and fame that I will broadcast from London to Shanghai. Believe me, this will be very beneficial to your career, my dear Captain." The crew on board the galleon began laughing at the Captains imminant demise. Jones's first mate, Gabriel Pires stood up.

"I shall go with the captain, for he is the greatest one I have ever sailed with," stated Pires. This statement raised many eyebrows and caused many gasps. Pires, who had served with many men, including Sir Francis Drake and Captain Blood, had just put Jones above both men as Captains.

"So be it," harshly replied Blood. "Off with you, here is the powder, you monkees!"

5 Barrels of powder were dropped into the ship, along with a small musket for starting the fire.

As they sailed under a waning moonlight, death and danger were on the two mens mind...
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As they sailed into Guadalupe, it became apparent right away what the target was. In the harbor, with a lone light on, was a Ship of the Line of the French Navy. It had 80 guns, with three decks, and was the flagship of the West Indies French Fleet.

Pires was upset at Jones notion of sailing right up to the ship and climbing on board and setting off the charges. As they neared the 40 guns on the port side, he was even worse. Jones turned back towards Pires and said, "This seems quite easy, don't you?" Pires, who was green by now, shook his head very erratically.

Jones climbed up the side of the ship, using the cannon ports as footholds. Pires, in all of his years of sailing and fighting, has never seen anything so bold and crazy. Jones looked back down at Pires floating in the boat and waved his hand. A rope came back down and Jones came down into the boat once again. Jones tied the boat to the Ship of the Line and climbed back on board, with Pires at his side. They tip-toed across the deck and Jones unfurled two hanging ropes from the mast. All of a sudden Jones screamed at the top of his lungs and awoke the entire contigent of crew on board. The dozing guards woke up and pulled out their swords. The guards were within a grasp of Pires and Jones, when the two men jumped upon their rope and swung off onto a neighboring frigate. The ship was only guarded by a small contingent of guards, who Jones and Pires dispatched quickly without much fuss. Jones and Pires ran onto the gun deck and began loading all of the cannon. Some of the soldiers in town began marching to the docks to investigate the disturbance.

Jones and Pires began at each end of the row and began lighting fuses for the cannon. The broadside blasted the Ship of the Line who were preparing to fire back at the frigate. Jones and Pires jumped off of the frigate and ran down Front Street where Jones took a bottle of rum from a drunk man and threw him some gold.

Jones then stuffed his hanky into the bottle and lit the end of it. Jones cranked back his arm and threw the bottle 60 yard into the small boat attached to the French flagship. The explosion of the flagship shook the surrounding countryside and caused the marching town guard to fall down, then to get up and run to the port to find the enemies who destroyed the French Navy flagship.

Jones and Pires ran to the dock and jumped into a naval sloop, where they quickly dispatched the small crew. Off they went into the night, with fire at their backs and Captain Blood on the horizon. Jones reserved his musket round for the good Captain.
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 7:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jones boarded the galleon of Captain Blood and was greeted by awe. Most of the sailors knew that it was an impossible task, and seeing the smiling faces of Jones and Pires caught most of the men by surprise. Captain Blood, although surprised by his return, beamed very proudly and extended his hand to Jones. Jones pulled out the musket and aimed it at Blood. "I saved this bullet for you Captain," began Jones, "you have sent us into harms way and now you shall be put in harms way."

"No need to do that, my dear Captain Jones," replied Blood, "you have proved yourself an amazing warrior of the seas and I will fulfill my promises. I have just sent out an envoy to the island of Barbados, where your actions will bring upon great praise by the British government, and perhaps the ability to find what you need in Martinique. Alas, John Thomas told me of your love of a woman who was the daughter of the Ambassador to Port Royal and Martinique. As war has broken out between England and France, the Ambassador to Martinique can now be found in St. Kitts. Also, I have heard of Captain Bain and his treachery of abandonment he put you through near Villa Hermosa. He has been spotted just south of Bermuda, heading toward San Juan. You will find a Dutch fluyt in St. Kitts under the name of Captain Horace Smith, who will take you to the one you seek revenge upon."

Jones, heard all of this and came close to breaking down into tears. He missed his ship and he missed his love. He swore by his brother's soul to find Bain and bring him to ruin. With a light heart, he descended into his ship/lifeboat and with his band set sail for St. Kitts.

The crew of the new Delightful pulled into port and Jones went right away to the governor's palace. He arrived and was welcomed into the governor's office.

The Governor stated, "Welcome Dear Captain, we have heard of all of your exploits against the French and are offering a full pardon in exchange for an English commission to destroy any French or enemy vessels you come upon. Would you be interested?"

Jones agreed and proceeded to ask the Governor where the Ambassador was. The Governor told him that Isabelle and the Ambassador went back home to London, where they would be preparing for Isabelle's wedding to the heir to the throne of all England. Charles II, the future king, was only around 9 years old at the time, but Jones decided that even if the boy got in his way he would have to sever his head. Jones departed the mansion, with his marque, and proceeded to find Horace Smith and his ship.

Horace Smith was a tall man, around 30 years of age with no teeth. He smiled as Jones approached and gave him a gift - a small chest, which Jones could only open when out at sea. The ship was loaded and prepared for departure. The crew totalled 30 men, and carried 4 cannon and not much else. After weeks at sea she came into view of a tall ship approaching at high speed. It was the frigate with red sails! Bain was here and Jones quickly assembled his me, except for 3 men to handle to top-side. Jones told the captain to hoist the white flag and prepare for a boarding. The frigate approached and the crew on deck of Bain's ship began screaming at the little fluyt. The men below deck in the fluyt grew nervous but resolute on their mission. The boarding began and soon the decks above were teeming with pirates. Jones gave the order to attack, and attack they did. The fight lasted until night time and two men stood face to face and drew their cutlasses. As most people would love to hear about a good fight, it was not. Bain had one leg, one hand, and one eye. Jones knocked him down and the battle was won.

The frigate was Jones and crew again and their first matter of business was to maroon Bain and his cronies. They did maroon them, but not somewhere uninhabited. Alas, Jones and his crew set full sail with the trade wind and headed at full speed to London...
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 21, 2004 1:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

London 1939 September

The Delightful made her way through the always busy Thames waterway. Jones, Pires, and the prisoner Captain Bain made their way by boat to Wapping, leaving the crew to find a mooring which could take up to half the day. Jones turned to Bain as they landed on the Wapping High Street dock, "This is where you will die." Wapping High Street's Execution Dock has always been known as the most famous place of execution for sea-borne criminals.

It has been years since the three men have been to a city even close to London's size. The sheer humanity surprised Cutiepie, as life in the tropics was not so crowded and manic. The first stop for Jones and company was at the prison at Newgate, where for a modest reward of 3000 pieces of gold, Bain was put in que for an execution. Bain found a modest inn on Marylebone High Street and sent Pires back to the ship to get the crew for a brief land stay. The ships stores, including the chest intended as a gift from Horace Smith. Jones was hesitant to open it, but he did so anyway. Inside were fantastic clothes, made of superior Chinese silk and a wig of total perfection. Also in the chest was a note from Captain Blood, it read:

My Dear Captain Jones, Here be a ticket to learn to dance. Learn well, we knows where ye be going. Talk to Charlotte Manfrie who be located on Portobello Rd. Enjoy! -Blood aka Harris


After a good rest, Jones washed up and headed to Manfrie's where he learned all the latest dance moves which were the current rage in all of pedigree Europe. He then went back to the Inn, got dressed, had John Thomas powder his wig and got directions to the palace from his First Mate Gabriel Pires.

"How do I look Gabriel?," asked Jones.

"Like a pirate captain and a queen taker," replied a proud Gabriel Pires.
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