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Time for a new Poll ? |
Yes |
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83% |
[ 5 ] |
No |
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16% |
[ 1 ] |
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Total Votes : 6 |
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Author |
Message |
sparticus
Helmsman
Posts: 5818
44872 Gold -
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Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 5:11 am Post subject: Sheep Joke |
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An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?"
Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right"
Villager: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Villager: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool"
Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Villager: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Villager: "The sheep's a liar" |
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Mr. Blue
Rigger
Posts: 1947
68625 Gold -
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Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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True story. (I think.)
An American goes to Australia. At the airport, an Australian customs official asks if he has any crimminal record. The Amerian says, "Sorry, no. I didn't know it was still a requirement." _________________ " ... the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it. " George Eliot |
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sparticus
Helmsman
Posts: 5818
44872 Gold -
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Posted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 3:34 am Post subject: |
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Mr. Blue wrote: | True story. (I think.)
An American goes to Australia. At the airport, an Australian customs official asks if he has any crimminal record. The Amerian says, "Sorry, no. I didn't know it was still a requirement." |
I would have thought it would have been an England er Goes to Australia |
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Mr. Blue
Rigger
Posts: 1947
68625 Gold -
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Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2013 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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That's one reason I think it might be true. If someone had made it up, it would have been someone from Englandshire. _________________ " ... the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it. " George Eliot |
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sparticus
Helmsman
Posts: 5818
44872 Gold -
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Posted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 12:37 pm Post subject: |
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A Man walks over a hill - and sees an other man in boots behind a sheep - so the first man say's.
" Are you shearing that sheep ?"
- the man in boots says
" I ain't shearing this sheep with anyone... !!! " |
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