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sparticus
Helmsman
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 Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 5:39 am Post subject: |
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Why are Blonde Jokes 1 Liners ???
So that Brunettes can understand. |
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brwngator
Swabbie
Posts: 58
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| Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 3:46 pm Post subject: Bulls |
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Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.
First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain't givin' him any of mine."
Second Bull: "That pretty much says it for me, too. I've been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we've agreed are mine. I'll fight him till I run him off or kill him, but I'M KEEPIN' ALL MY COWS."
Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to "take care of". I may not be as big as you fellows (yet) but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows."
They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.
First Bull: "Ahem... You know, it's actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend."
Second Bull: "I'll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."
They look over at their young friend, the 3rd bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting.
First Bull: "Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."
Third Bull: "Hell, he can have ALL my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'M a bull!"
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brwngator
Swabbie
Posts: 58
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| Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 3:47 pm Post subject: Beerhall |
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Kachidza was at a local beerhall when a beautiful woman walked in. The beerhall was full and there was only one one place to sit: next to him! Kachidza, always a friendly guy, decided to strike up a conversation with his pretty new neighbor. But as soon as he said "Hello, Miss..." she turned to him and screamed at the top of her lungs, "WHAT KIND OF A PERSON DO YOU THINK I AM, YOU PERVERT!"
This caught him very off guard, as all of his friends in the beerhall were glaring at him for trying to molest this newcomer. He slouched down as far as he could on his stool, and looked at what he knew would be his last drink here in a long time.
After a few minutes the lady said to him, "I'm sorry if I scared or embarrassed you. I'm a Psychology student and I'm doing a study on what happens to an innocent person when they are falsely accused of something in public. Please don't take it personally. We're friends, right? Shake hands?"
Kachidza looked at her, her hand stretched out, her eyes imploring and yelled out, "A THOUSAND BUCKS FOR A NIGHT!!! ARE YOU CRAZY??"
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ExtraCrispy
Boatswain
Posts: 3923
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| Posted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 6:45 am Post subject: |
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ExtraCrispy
Boatswain
Posts: 3923
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| Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2010 12:49 pm Post subject: |
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A man goes to confession.
Inside the both he finds bottles and bottles of whiskey, and a few hundred cigars. He finds a expensive flat screen t.v. and piles and piles of pornos.
He walks outside and says to the priest "Oh father, I don't remember confession being this comfortable. "
"No! You idiot! That's my side!" |
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sparticus
Helmsman
Posts: 5818
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| Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:56 am Post subject: |
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| ExtraCrispy wrote: | A man goes to confession.
Inside the both he finds bottles and bottles of whiskey, and a few hundred cigars. He finds a expensive flat screen t.v. and piles and piles of pornos.
He walks outside and says to the priest "Oh father, I don't remember confession being this comfortable. "
"No! You idiot! That's my side!" |
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ExtraCrispy
Boatswain
Posts: 3923
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| Posted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 5:03 pm Post subject: |
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sparticus
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| Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:40 am Post subject: |
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rupertlittlebear
Helmsman
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| Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:45 am Post subject: |
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| ExtraCrispy wrote: |  |
I'd lock this thread
If I wasn't laughing so hard. |
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ExtraCrispy
Boatswain
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| Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 5:11 am Post subject: |
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Rupert does have soul.  |
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rupertlittlebear
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| Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 5:16 am Post subject: |
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| ExtraCrispy wrote: |
Rupert does have soul. |
Insults will not be tollerated |
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ExtraCrispy
Boatswain
Posts: 3923
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| Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:53 am Post subject: |
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sparticus
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| Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 12:03 am Post subject: |
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rupertlittlebear
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| Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 4:51 am Post subject: |
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| sparticus wrote: |  |
Hero worship
that states that the hero
is a baby killer???
somebody needs guidance |
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sparticus
Helmsman
Posts: 5818
44872 Gold -
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| Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:32 am Post subject: |
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| rupertlittlebear wrote: | | sparticus wrote: | |
Hero worship
that states that the hero
is a baby killer???
somebody needs guidance |
Help me Obi Wan, your my only hope...
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