Elephant Jokes Anyone?

[rupertlittlebear]

I'll start you off:

Why are Elephants Grey?

[Westley_Roberts]

So they can hide in trees...
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Have an Army Day

[Vulture]

Ever see one in a tree?


They hide pretty darn good! Don't they?
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32 brightly polished cannons, a bottle o'rum, ahh..... a pirates life for me!

[rupertlittlebear]

[rupertlittlebear]

What did Jane say when she saw the Elephants coming over the hill?

[fossaman]

I have one for you:
How do you know there's an elephant in bed with you?











You can smell the peanuts on his breath.

My dad had the poor taste to tell this joke to my mom while she was pregnant, and was coming to bed after getting a snack of peanut butter on crackers. She wasn't too pleased.
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Like my fossa? He's a pirate!

[rupertlittlebear]

[rupertlittlebear]

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?

[Yellowbeard]

Here come the Elephants Jane...

These are pretty lame.

[rupertlittlebear]

[Airsaw]

Why are elephant's ankles wrinkled.
They wear their basketball shoes too tight.
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[Vulture]

[rupertlittlebear]

A man got up one morning and went to work.
As he was parking his car, he chanced to look up and . . .

A grey pannel truck screached to a halt.
An Elephant jumped out of the back.
The Elephant took his trunk and smashed the window (and security bars) of the nearby Jewelry store.
Then the Elephant took his mighty trunk and scooped up all the valuables, jumped into the back of the (re-inforced) pannel truck.
You guessed it, the truck sped off into the sunrise.

The man was stunned. Alarms going off, trying to make sence of what had just happened, and wondering where he put his coffee.

Finally the Police arrived and he started telling what had happened.

"Well officer, as I was parking my car, a grey pannel truck came up and an elephant jumped out and took all the jewelry then sped away."

"Details, we need details!" stated the officer.

"Grey Pannel Truck. Elephant. Robbery! What else do you need?"

The Detective Sargent arrives.
"I hear you are a witness to the events that happened this morning. Could you tell us what happened in your own words?"

"What again?"

"Yes, we need to fully understand what happened." replied the Detective.

"mumble mumble, I was parking my mumble car when a grey pannel mumble truck pulled up and . . ."

"Please try to be clear and precise." stated the detective.

"I was parking my car. A grey pannel truck pulled up. An Elephant jumped out of the back of the grey pannel truck.
The Elephant took his trunk and smashed the security bars and the window. The Elephant then took his trunk and gathered up all the jewelry. The ELEPHANT jumped into the back of the grey pannel truck. The grey pannel truck sped away. Is that enough, can I go now?????"

"Details, we need details." quipped the Officer and detective in unison.

Foaming at the mouth, the hapless witness repeats the same scenario over and over again.

"Details, we need details." quipped the officer and detective in unison again.

"An Elephant robbed a jewelry store. What more details do you need?"

The Detective responds, "What kind of elephant was it?"

"What kind of elephant? What Kind Of Elephant? A GREY ELEPHANT! Big, Tusks, Grey, and likes to take Jewelry! What more do you need!!!!"

"Details, we need details." quipped the officer and detective in unison yet again.

Seeing that the witness was on the verge of a brakedown, the Detective adds, "Was it an African Elephant or an Asian Elephant?"

"Elephants is elephants!" replied the witness while jumping up and down.

"Actually there is a distinct difference. The African Elephant has large ears where-as the Asian Elephant has small ears." replied the original officer.

"Well how the (*****) would I know. He was wearing a stocking mask!"

[rupertlittlebear]

You've all heard the joke about ->

How does an elephant hide?
Paints his toe-nails red and sits in a Cherry Tree.

Have you ever seen an elephant in a Cherry Tree?
See how good it works!


Well, do you know how the Elephant gets into the Cherry Tree in the first place?

Sits on a pit and waits.



Ok Folks, how does the Elephant get out of the Cherry Tree?

Sits on a leaf and waits for fall.

[Hayashi]

Here's my variant:

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?
A: He said, "I see a herd of elephants coming over the hill."


Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants wearing dark glasses coming over the hill?
A: He didn't say anything, 'cos he didn't recognise them.


Q: What did the elephants say when they saw Tarzan coming over the hill?
A: They didn't say anything. Elephants can't talk!

[Risque version]
Q: How did the elephants hide from Tarzan?
A: By painting their balls red & hiding in some apple trees.

Q: How did Tarzan die?
A: By eating some apples.


[Clean version]
Q: How did the elephants hide from Tarzan?
A: By painting their toenails red & tiptoeing thru' the tulips?

Q: Have you ever seen elephants tiptoe thru' the tulips?
A: No? See how good they are?