More (bad) puns

[Hayashi]

The pirate captain was standing in his treasure pile. He didn't have very much: his booty was only shin-deep.

Q: How can you tell when a bucket gets sick?
A: It becomes a little pale.

I couldn't afford to buy cotton so I decided to be abrasive, and steel wool.

I had a very nervous guitar playing friend.
He was always fretting about something.

Wanted: Newspaper needs freelance writer to cover zoo story about a mother bear about to have babies.
Applicant must be willing to start as a cub reporter.