This is geared a bit toward those in the working week. You know office work, supervisors, etc.
1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you have set aside this time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here, I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word your saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We are all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you does not mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I?! Flypaper for freaks.
20. I’m not being rude, you’re just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby, whiny-butt opinion would be..?
24. Do I look like a people person!?
25. This isn’t an office; it’s hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you go away?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume (or cologne), must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder – my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career – turns out I just wanted paychecks.
39. Yeah, sure, you came up with that idea.
40. I’d love to help you, but it’s quitting time.
Share this with everyone you know. It lightens up the work week.
_________________
Bring her about and make ready the guns!!
Break forth cutlasses and pistols men, and remember the hell that forged you!!
YARR!! |
