Songs and Legends

[Dreadpirate Roberts]

[Dreadpirate Roberts]

Swooping down on the richly adorned Spanish town of Havana from the modest base of Florida Keys was proving extremely profitable. The supply of treasure galleons was seemingly endless (as was the supply of pirate hunters). The many trips back to Florida Keys were setting up the city with an ample supply of luxuries and goods to keep the citizens happy. The governor was also very happy with my efforts, and was pleased to introduce me to his beautiful daughter. Due to the frequency of my visits, I had soon danced and charmed her heart away.

But no sooner than had I decided to marry the lovely girl when an evil and no-good Spaniard came by and kidnapped my beloved Florida Belle! There are no prizes for guessing his name, it was that dispicable Colonel Mendoza! The fact that he was able to accomplish this came as quite a surprise - given my frequent loitering off the north coast of Cuba I would have thought to catch at least a glimpse of him! In any case, he travelled fast - the sweet local barmaid indicated that he was headed for Caracas. So off I headed.

During the voyage my sleep, little though it was, was filled with nightmares of what would happen to my bonnie lass. I pursued no ships along the way - even the most lucrative of Spanish tubs were left in peace in pursuit of my beloved. Eventually I cornered the rapscallion on his way past Puerto Cabello.

The battle was to a most memorable one. I had managed to defeat the notorious Blackbeard and had his fully upgraded frigate as my valiant flagship. However, I was a young and inexperienced captain and had much to learn about sea battles.

However, I did manage to have the weathergage. And as Mendoza's Fast Galleon came into range, I turned north and let rip with all 18 guns. However as Mendoza's ship turned and his gun covers lifter, I realised that I had missed. His ship fired, albeit, with a lesser number of guns, and I was able to avoid the salvo. This continued for some time, each of us maintaining enought range to avoid major damage.

Then at one fateful moment, I hesitated. His broadside was coming in fast and I had taken too long choosing which side to turn! By the time I realised it, his fury was upon me. Although not a large number of cannonballs, they well well aimed and concentrated! My ship started to flounder and smoke, the wind had dropped and the sun was setting fast - I was losing the battle!

With one last ditch effort, I turned my sluggishly slow holed up corpse to bring the guns to bear. It seems that confidence had gotten the better of Mendoza, for he had decided to sail away and leave me to my floundering fate. As I watched his ship sailing away from, I knew that my last hope of finding my beloved Belle was going with it. After some quick but careful aiming, I fired with all hope at maximum range. It felt good, and it was! Mendoza's ship was caught unawares and after flying the distance the balls slammed home with devastating effects and massive damage! My men cheered as smoke poured from his stricken Galleon, which had now slowed considerably.

However the fight wasn't over yet. As darkness threatened to cloak the seas, I knew that the distance was still too great. His ship was still faster than mine downwind and once it got dark he could easily give me the slip and cut short our fiery encounter. I needed to take out his sails, but my chain shot would still not cover the distance. I hoped and prayed that my beloved Belle would not by harmed by my actions and that Mendoza’s hull would hold for one last shot. Lining up again, I fired. Again, the shots were true and Mendoza’s shipped was ripped apart. My men cheered, and then we heard a truly great sound. It was the sound of timber snapping and creaking, as all three of his masts toppled and fell with great groaning sounds! The dreaded Spaniard’s ship was out of action but still afloat! Now I had to do was board it and rescue my intended.

But this was not to prove as easy as it sounds. While his speed had been reduced to zero, the wind had dropped again, and due to my ship’s near critical condition, my speed was stuck stubbornly at 1 knot! A gruelling long night followed as we inched forward towards the incapacitated enemy. My men were constantly on edge – Mendoza still had a decent number of crew and the long anticipation of the coming battle was unbearable! Some of my men volunteered to tow the ship along using the longboats, but I wouldn’t have them risk their in such a dangerous manner against the evil Mendoza.

Eventually, as dawn was breaking, we pulled within grappling distance of the other ship. The enemy crew, weakened by the ordeal, quickly surrendered, but Mendoza would have none of it. He confronted me on the middle deck while his crew were tied up around him. But after coming through so much for one woman, I was not to be defeated now. He crumbled before my savage attack and had soon dropped his cutlass.

Finally I was reunited with my beloved Belle! The embrace was warm and the kisses many! Never before had I sacrificed so much in such a selfless act. As my beloved and I sailed off into the new dawn light, she snuggled under my arm and told me tales of a Lost City she has heard about…

[Please note: this battle was even nerve-racking than it might seem, since I did not realise that the ships of named pirates like Mendoza can’t sink! Hence I truly thought there was a chance that my beloved might have joined Mendoza in a watery embrace!]

[TheDon]

I posted a coupla original ditties some time ago... will have to search and find...

AHA!

If It's Good Enough for Montalban, It's Good Enough For Me

I sail a new Flag Galleon; she's pretty as can be
When all her sheets are in the wind she's quite a sight to see
She looks so good when sailing by, displacing half the sea
If it's good enough for Montalban, it's good enough for me

She's big and bad and bulky, but she's a Pirates dream
She's 40 cannons stern to bow, The envy of the fleet
When Pirate Hunters come my way they're blown to smithereens
If it's good enough for Montalban, it's good enough for me

There's room for lots of rum and food for the crew and me
And lots of rooms below the deck for the governors' offspring
Until I choose which one I want, they're all my brides-to-be
She was Montalban's Flag Galleon, but now she's all for me

So come and join the pirate's life and drink some rum with me
We'll find some treasure ships to rob for pirates what we be
We'll count up all the gold and then divide it equally (yea, right)
If it's good enough for Montalban, it's good enough for me

If it's good enough for Monty - It's good enough for MEEEEEEEEEE!
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TheDon
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. - Napoleon Bonaparte

[TheDon]

AND THEN there's this totally forgettable little dittie...

Villa Hermosa ChaCha

I have a wife in Villa Hermosa
Who I rescued from that evil Mendoza
She dances like she's a real Ho'sa
Though she looks just like Sammy Sosa

That evil spaniard took her just to be me-an
And I chased him across the Carib-be-an
When I caught him I poked him in the splee-an
Stole his gold and sunk his gal-leon

Now I sail around being a Pi-rate
And I make lots of people very i-rate
I can add lots of wealth to my es-tate
By turning enemy crews into fish-bait

chachacha
_________________
TheDon
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. - Napoleon Bonaparte

[TheDon]

OOOOoooohhhh... This is my 1000th POST!

Celebrate. Celebrate.
Dance to the music!
Celebrate. Celebrate.
Dance to the music!

and don't forget the RUM!
_________________
TheDon
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. - Napoleon Bonaparte

[Capt. Cannon]

Hey rigger thats pretty good let me try...

There once was a pirate, Briari-an
He was fierce n' bold n' scary -n'
One day, he got tired of bi-en'
the guy who just sunk the galle-ons

yeah, i'm bored so thats all for now

I bet your not to dissapointed
_________________
Go Fishing.

Johnny Ringo- "This fight isn't with you"
Doc Holliday-"I bed to Diffuh."
(Tombstone)

http://www.fishnj.netfirms.com/

Capt. Cannon <((((((<

[Murcadh]

Tales of high seas hell-raisin' you be wantin'? I'm sure I could spin a few tales for ye, free of charge.

As a proper Irish buccaneer I've made it me life's mission to make Old England's life a livin' hell, along with makin' plunder from the Spanish Main away south. Using Barbados (re-captured from the English for the French, but that's a tale for a later day...) as a base I gave the old red-coats a fair ration of hell in the vicinity of The Saints, sometimes even running so far out as Port Royale just to keep them on their toes.

So there I am, aboard me frigate Cuchulainn, sailin' just south of Nevis at dawn, when one of the crew sees two sails comin' up over the horizon to the west. Pullin' out the ol' spyglass I spy a deadly combination of English ships: a royal sloop and a damned flag galleon they must've nabbed from some Spanish cap'n away south. I can already tell that it's me they're makin' for, apparently wantin' to put an end to my days of swashbuckin' permanently. Grabbin' hold of me first mate Murphy, I tell him to rouse the crew and make ready for combat. I'm not to run from some English pirate hunters, on principle alone. All forty guns were made ready, each loaded and with two mean-as-hell pirates beside the black iron ladies. We dropped full sail and luckily the wind was on my side, and we sped off towards the two hunters. We must've surprised them because they didn't seem quite ready by the time I was upon them, but I was wrong.

All of a sudden there's chain shot flying my way from all sides! Luckily my mast was still in one piece, but me sails weren't worth much but for maybe scraps. Stuck between the two hunters and with them both closing in on me, I did the only thing I could do (and if any of you swabs says surrender I'll run ye through): Opened fire. Forty guns roared to life from both gun decks, the starboard side cannons laying low the sloops mast, and the port broadside slamming into the galleon, tearing holes into her sturdy hull and trashing some of the cannon and crew as well. With the sloop out of the battle for the moment, me crew and I took up grapnels and made to swing aboard the big tub. I lost a few men in the boarding thanks to some sharpshooters, but for the most part we all made it across and started to the swordwork. I myself put down five men before the captain came out from his quarters. And a damned admiral in the Royal Navy no less! This would be no easy fight.

My cutlass rang off of his pretty rapier time and again, the two of us dancing the waltz of death atop the forecastle. Again and again he tried to drive that wicked point through me wishbone, but I worked furiously to keep him at bay. Then, old Lady Luck smiled upon me. A stray shot from the fighting below came up and hit the flash bastard in his right shoulder, robbing his sword arm from him. He switched hands as I came in furiously, hoping to end this quickly. He tried to make play with that flimsy sword in his weak hand, and on one particularly vile swing from your truly, I shattered the blade and drew a deep gash in his throat. His lifeblood pouring onto the deck, the crew of the galleon surrendered almost immediately except for a few of the officers, who were dealt with shortly and brutally. Then, the deep-throated voices of my cannons roused my attention.

The sloop had managed to maneuver itself into firing position and had let loose on my beloved frigate, driving a few holes into her hull. My crew had returned fire and done a fair number on the little boat, and it was listing near to scuppers. Back aboard ship I commanded my men to ready the cannons one last time. Letting forth all guns we blew both ships to splinters, the scheme of the English sinking beneath the waves. We would make sail back to Montserrat and repair the ship, then bring renewed fury down on the fat merchants of the English.

Never give an Irishman good cause for revenge.
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Not all who wander are lost.